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See those? Pregnancy tests. Positive ones. O. M. G.
Right now I'm ten (ish) weeks along in all my queasy, exhausted glory.
It's not that we didn't want another baby. It's just so soon. This was not in my plans. And since I have a policy of transparency....I'm having a really hard time being as excited about #3 as I was about the boys. When people say "Congratulaions!" or "Aren't you excited?!", I force a smile and say thank you. But all I really want to say is "I'm freaking scared out of my mind!"
Our car fits two carseats. Only two. Our apartment has two bedrooms. Only two. Our finances support two kids. Only two. What the heck are we gonna do?
I know God has a purpose and a plan for all of this. I KNOW that. But, boy, is it hard to get my heart and brain to work together in this whole faith thing.
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Don't be scared! I hope everything works out perfectly for you and your new family of five! :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats!
Oh my goodness! CONGRATULATIONS!! And everything will work out perfectly for your sweet family, promise!
ReplyDelete#3 was a big scary too-soon surprise for us as well. I'm 11 weeks into being the momma of three now and I am so grateful that God blessed us with this child/trial/opportunity to trust in Him. James 1:2 is my go-to verse at this stage of life. We have small little ones sharing a bedroom and somehow the finances are stretching to provide. Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteWas roaming my referrers and stumbled upon your site. I am flattered to be on the list of blogs you love! Congrats on baby #3 and good luck! It will all work out.
ReplyDeleteMy friend felt the same way until her daughter was born. Instant love, of course. Here's the sad part: she lost the little girl before she was two. She wished she'd treasured her more the first 9 months since the time was so short.
ReplyDeleteOh honey. I feel you. We have five. We planned two. Then Jesus turned all practical jokester and gave us baby number three when baby number two was suffering from severe sleep appnea and we werent sure he was going to make it. He was 9 weeks old when I got pregnant with my little girl. Plus, I had already been through three miscarriages. My heart was not in it. My body was SO not ready for this. My husband. SO not ready for this. I very nearly had a nervous breakdown because I was certain my little boy was going to die and this new baby was going to be God's way of helping us heal. What can I say? People think crazy when they are pregnant with a new born and massively sleep deprived.
ReplyDeleteI decided to pray. I mean REALLY pray. Dig and dig and dig and refuse to get out of bed until I heard from God. He gave me the story of Hannah and Samuel. My heart was lifted and my sadness was gone. It's a good story. It made me appreciate the gift I had been given. And everything really will be ok. Just give it time.
I want to thank everyone for all the encouragement. I got to hear a tiny and very fast heartbeat at the doctor this week. :)
ReplyDeleteI feel your fear! Our first daughter was a preemie, born at 30 weeks, weighing 3 lbs. 6 oz. and 16 in. The size of a doll with some health problems and 5 surgeries in the first year. We decide one child would be enough. Then when she was 4 years old, I caught a virus and was on an IV drip in hospital that negated the effect of the pill. The drs. and nurses failed to inform us of this little bit of info and we became pregnant. He was born healthy and on time. How blessed we were! Life went on and when he was 13 months old, I missed my period. Sure enough, pregnant again! Another healthy boy was born. I felt exhausted teaching and caring for 3 kids, ages newborn, 21 months and 6 yrs. My husband and I decided to steal a night away to relax when he was about 6 months old. Life was finally getting back to normal. We fit perfectly in our 3 bedroom house and our 'new to us' van. I figured God must have known what He was doing when He gave us 3 kids. Then I began to experience some familiar feelings. I was devastated and embarrassed to find myself pregnant again. It took many weeks to adjust and then we found out she had a heart defect and Down syndrome. She was born healthy and had open heart surgery at 6 months old. We lived through about a year of 'hell'; building onto our house, health problems, medicine, doctor visits, therapy visits and adjusting to special needs, all while having 4 kids under 7 years old. Many days I worked on making it through the next hour or even 30 minutes at a time. It took much prayer and help from family members, but we made it. Now I can not imagine not having all 4 of our kids and I am sure God does know what is best for us. I am a better person for having them in my life. I'm praying for you to be able to accept this new pregnancy and enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteNot sure how old your kids are but I managed to squish two regular carseats as well as an infant carseat in the back of our Taurus wagon.... as far as a bedroom, babies need little space. We lived in a barely 1000ft home with four kids for a year... congrats
ReplyDeleteGod will provide!!!
ReplyDelete"Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you" Psalm 55:22
It's ok to be scared, it's part of life and it's part of faith. Admitting to God that you are scared, but that despite it you are willing to trust in Him and let his will be done, that pleases God's heart.
May the Lord bless you and your growing family!